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Introduction (to LIFE IS EASIER THAN IT SEEMS)

  INTRODUCTION The most frequent question I am asked as a psychology professor is about how to analyze the behavior of another person. The student explains how they are interested in creeping inside the consciousness of their older brother or ex-partner or best friend in order to see clearly the how and the why of that person’s behavior.  Privately, I wonder if my students have a secret and possibly dark plan to manipulate their friends and loved ones. In the past, I have always refused to answer the how-to-analyze others question. But I would not refuse to answer with the grace and compassion of a parent who is refusing to treat their child to a second ice cream cone. I would refuse to answer like a bully who wanted to show off. I would give a long explanation about how terrible it is that  some people , by whom I meant the student asking the question, liked to think of others in as inhumane and calculating a way as to try to analyze or manipulate them. But I’m all done ...

Preface (to LIFE IS EASIER THAN IT SEEMS)

  PREFACE This book began as a course I was teaching at my university. The course took place in the classroom during a global pandemic, and therefore had only about eight students and myself. Because it was such a small group, we were able to let go of the ordinary teacher and student roles, and began having frank discussions about our personal interests. Within a few weeks it became clear that we were not interested in learning about what other psychologists had done, which is how normal psychology courses are organized. We wanted to practice these things for ourselves. As fortune would have it, I had just made a serious study of an area of psychology called “transactional analysis.” The critical and sometimes embarrassing self-reflection that my study of TA required had led to striking changes in my professional and personal attitudes.  Professionally, for example, my fire for teaching had become a vaguely glowing ember. I had even written a novel with the opening line: ...